i do this for the people.

I realize that I have been slightly delinquent in writing these blog entries. I do apologize, as I know many of you depend on me just to have the will to get out of bed in the morning. To have the strength to breathe and face each new day. The fact is, I haven’t been quite sure what to write in these past few days. The show is really running itself. People are playing more, being silly, and some bits and characters are growing more complex. 

Those pieces of text that I had trouble with have become second nature to me now. Like breathing out and breathing in. I was just speaking to my parents about that section with my sister. I am very glad that I made the choices I did about that section. I still find it very interesting, and I find the audience response very interesting as well. At that brief moment, the bottom kind of drops out of that scene. Not only does it foreshadow the end of the play, but adds this layer of the uncomfortable to a group of people that, up till that moment, have just been running around and having a lot of fun. So in a way, it was a difficult choice to make. It creates this great moment for Rosaline and I, where I really express this admiration for who she inherently is as a person, it always makes me a little teary, and then we kind of have to dig ourselves back out of the serious and into the silly. That moment where I decide to tease her and we enter into this “witty banter” section is Katherine’s way of lightening the mood, telling everyone it’s ok, and all the women getting back to their good times. But what is interesting is that the audience is so quiet in this section. Perhaps they are sitting back in their chairs and thinking “What the heck?” but they seem to be taken in by the moment. 

Other parts I continue to think about. At the first few performances, I think I was pushing a little bit, to make sure that Katherine came across as a definite character and not a set dressing. Now I feel like I’m letting it go, but every once in a while I wonder if she is still coming across as clearly. And once I came off stage after the first scene and said to my dear friend Julia, “Did that speech just seem like nonsense?” She assured me that it didn’t, but that thought does encourage me to continue to look at my speeches to make sure I am still communicating the sense before anything else. I don’t want to muck up the story with bells and whistles.

It is also a challenge to continue to stay in the moment. Let’s face it, I could do this show now with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back. The costume designer might not like it, but it’s possible. So it is so important to continue to listen and to observe and to experience instead of just going on auto-pilot. What helps me is to continue to notice different things in my scene partners, and to find new moments to connect with them. The second you start thinking things in your own head, you start to leave the immediate moment. It’s always your scene partners that bring you back and help you discover how to be where you are. This play gives me plenty of new things to find in every show. There are so many dang people that it is easy to discover more things in each show.

I know Paula loves to hear about my sleeping habits, and now I must to bed. By the way, if you have any questions or comments, feel free to join the conversation. Unless you have a negative comment. In that case I suggest you comment on Kevin Rich’s blog.


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