Rad. (pre-tech pep talk to myself)

Monday is Friday, in that we’re off tomorrow, and we’re culminating this week’s work with a run-through for designers today. A design run-through, if you will.  It’ll be the first time we’ve put the show together from start to finish.  The staff is very excited–Noel is passing and beads and saying “Happy Design Run-Through Day!” I am trying to stay focused on today’s rehearsal and not on my deep craving for the day off. 

In that regard, yesterday’s rehearsal was instructive.  We went from the top of the show into Act IV, and I got to see a lot of work I hadn’t previously, which was rad.  It’s a great time in the process, seeing scenes that have been getting created without you, but which will effect your work and be a part of yourshow.  It makes me want to raise my game, take away any lingering uncertainty, and be stronger in my choices that probably should have been strong and clear already, but alas.   Joe Foust as Cloten was definitely an inspiration yesterday, and the section in which he charges off to Wales in incompetent pursuit of Posthumus had the cast rollicking.  Follow that up with Nick and Andy singing their beautiful and poignant funeral song, and the indication that this could be one fantastic ride of a show becomes apparent.

Yesterday, Jeffrey said that adding the designers will be akin to building the Cymbeline Installation, and that the show will now change and evolve in ways that may differ from previous expectations of where production processes go from here.  I feel the need to be flexible, curious, and positive is a must.  Things may get confusing and frustrating, and I’m committed to following an extremely valuable piece of advice that Jeffrey gave us the other day: not to act out our frustrations.  Everybody’s experiencing their own personal struggles, which encompass things happening on and off stage.  Making a big display of how difficult this is and grumbling doesn’t help to actually do it, it just wastes energy.  Not that I’m about swallowing frustration down, but still.  This is a proving ground for my capabilities, where I have the potential to  surprise myself in how well I can express myself and the story in alchemy with other artists.  Therefore, I want to elevate my contributions

 Hopefully I can encounter a bit more joy in my personal efforts as well–I’ve been pretty stiff-jawed and workmanlike in an effort to keep myself above of frustration.  Bordering on humorless.   So I’ll playthe play more once we hit the space and truly try to keep all other lingering concerns of my Milwaukee Shakespeare jobs and my outside life clear of my time as Cloten’s Lord and Roman Soldier.  Acting for money is a privilege and I’m happy just to be employed, but it’s also the same blast I fell in love with at 14, and I’m not surrendering that just because now I’m a grouchy grown-up with a lot on my mind.

(The day off will help.)

Goooooo, Cymbeline!



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